They key to a great nail polish job is

1. a steady hand

2. patience

you could say the same for a lot of things I suppose. I wonder if that's why I always mess up at least one finger....

What would YOU rather wear?

This is a really cute dress from delias.com. They tend to cater to teenage girls but some of their clothes can be worn into your 20s, such as this dress here. Delias dresses only go to a juniors size 13/14 though so you can imagine most adults are not going to be fitting into this. However, look at the shape. It has a V-neck, notoriously flattering on larger frames as it accentuates and elongates the neck. A higher waist line - also flattering on larger frames as it tends to land on the smallest part of your body. Sleeves, to cover chubby arms (I am obsessive about keeping my upper arms covered). This dress is perfect for a larger gal.




Here is a dress from Lane Bryant - a store geared towards larger, "plus" size women. It is shapeless, the sleeves are an awkward length, it's loose and has a bold sweeping pattern that really just looks like the ocean. Like you're as big as an ocean. Why would you want to wear this? It has a drop waist tie that really only incredibly skinny people can wear (see the models in the delias catalogue) and yet on this woman, who is not really what I'd call "plus size" they are trying to market this mumu to overweight women. This dress is really not flattering for most body shapes so it ends up in a plus size category that is predominantly made of shapeless clothes in tired patterns.




This dress is from torrid.com, a website that focuses on trendy plus size clothes for teenage girls. I'm sorry, but this dress is completely unflattering to any plus size girl. If you were skinny and merely plus sized in your chest, perhaps this would work, but for anyone who is truly "plus sized" you would NEVER wear this! First, I will admit the V-neck and wider shoulder straps are flattering. If you have any issues with your upper arms however, you are now stuck wearing a shrug, cardigan, or something else that will clearly show you are layering because you feel uncomfortable and will inevitably down the "wow" factor a dress like this is supposed to be achieving. The fact that it is tight from the bust down to the knees... well, awful. If this girl wasn't half keeled over trying to slant the eye up towards her hip and was standing straight on - she would look round and the angles would be sharply going down and in at her knees.

This is what it is like to look for a dress as a larger woman. There is no easy answer. There is no quick trip to the mall. You have to hunt and peck and search and hope that somehow one of the five websites that carry clothing in your size has a dress that appeals to you. It is exhausting. When you find a dress you like, you wear it until it falls apart because it could be ages before another comes along.

"She was weary of being outdoors, but she was not ready to go in. Was that really all there was in life, indoors or out? Wasn't there somewhere else for people to go?"

Nathan lent me this book for distraction. The language of the narrative, particularly of Briony, is so compelling. I can hear myself in her. She stares at her finger and tells it to move and wonders at her ability to control her extremities (no doubt forshadowing for later, controlling the elements of Lola's sexual assault). I remember feeling the exact same way and wondering at my eyelids blinking and how autonomous it was until I became hyper-aware of the blinking or the way my tongue moved in my mouth when I spoke.

Sometimes I'll lay in bed and look down at my feet and think it's so interesting how long my body is and how much space it takes up. Though not as much as Yao Defen, the tallest living woman, who comes in at 7 feet 8 inches.

After indoors and outdoors, I head to a mall... maybe that's the inexplicable something missing from her afternoon.

Can't Buy Me Love

Buying things makes me feel happy when I am particularly sad. This can include any new thing really - post-its, ben and jerry's, a sparkly ring, a gel ink pen, hair products. The point is I am sad, and then through an exchange of my soul and debit card I become profoundly un-sad. Occasionally even giddy. Light, airy, optimistic, and ready to take on whatever oppressiveness life has to offer (usually bills)

This can be dangerous, particularly if it seems I'm going to be sad for a long time. My mother has become very, very sick and I think I am going to be sad for a very, very long time.

She became sick in December and I have managed to hold off for a few months and have not bought myself a single thing.... until now.

Last week I broke the ice and purchased this gorgeous, twinkly, luxurious bracelet from anthropologie.